"You Do You, You Be You"

Hey Guys, 

So, I guess I did my usual thing of disappearing from the internet, well at least this little part of it! But here I am at 1AM writing a little reflective post for you all. 

I have seen so many memes going around facebook about how terrible 2016 has been for a lot of people and so many people agreeing with them and saying how they can't wait for 2017 to start. However from my opinion 2016 has been just like every other. There have been ups and downs, sure, but its what you make of those ups and downs and what comes out of that, that makes your year better. 

I'm not saying I'm any better off than anyone else, yes I am part of a country that voted to leave the EU, did I agree with it? No. But as a country, we have made our bed and now we have to sleep in it. there could be a whole other post about the politics of it all but I feel that would just start an argument so I am just going to leave it at that, What I am trying to, and undoubtedly failing to say is you just have to face what comes at you. and look to it with positivity. 

The year started out terribly with a few failed attempts at feeble relationships and Barely passing through the first year of uni, but then I turned over a new leaf, I met my amazingly supportive boyfriend,  I decided my degree was the most important thing to me and that 90% of my time and energy would be focussed on bettering myself and learning from the previous years mistakes (of course I keep 9.5% of my time for my boyfriend and 0.5% for work need to earn a bit of money after all). 

I conquered my anxieties and flew 4723 miles to Canada on my own (I realise I could have chosen somewhere closer to home but it was what I felt most comfortable with, knowing there was someone waiting for me the other end, a place to stay, people I knew and could talk to) It definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone. those of you who know me, know I am not the most talkative or outgoing person, I'm the girl that would rather hide at the back of the class so that the teacher wouldn't pick on me, Doing this forced me to talk to people, it pushed me to my limits and I came out better for it. 

I even got a tattoo as a little reminder to myself that I can do anything, I don't need to let my mental health hold me back. Yes, I still have bad days where I'd rather not move from the comfort and reassurance of my bed, feeling sick to my stomach with nerves, but that's all par of the cause, I will have those days but I get up and get on with it because I know I'm strong enough that I can conquer anything. 

Now I'm a third of the way through my second year, struggling but doing ok, keeping my head above water and staying up to date. I've just celebrated 6 months with my boyfriend and I feel like I am finally in a positive place, in the right place, and that's where I belong. 

I know this one was a deep one, but I can't wait to see what the next year brings. 

what's your experience with 2016 so far? 

Love,

B

xxx

A Weekend Away

Hey Guys,

Sometimes the best adventures are right on your doorstep.
This is something I 100% agree with, yes I'm like everyone else it is nice to get away, fly somewhere exotic, heck I was one of those people back in July, creating my own memories in Canada, but it is so much more exciting exploring what your own country has to offer.

Back in August my boyfriend George (Instagram linked) surprised me, as much as he could, by taking me away for the weekend.

It started on Thursday night, I took the train from my town to his (it's in the interest of privacy that I don't name them) where we drove around for a bit before heading back to his so I could meet his parents.
The thought of finally meeting them after 3 months together terrified me, I didn't know what to expect  as this was my first time meeting anyone I was datings parents!
They couldn't have been nicer, and in the end, I felt silly for being so nervous about it, I guess the need for their approval of me meant so much to me.
The next morning we got up very early,   as in 5:00 early! and we were in the car driving by 5:30 George did all the driving, and for the first few hours I slept. By 10:45 we were there, we had made it to Bude, Cornwall. We couldn't get into our apartment till 3:00 so we just explored Bude sat for a bit and got a little something to eat, we sat in the car for a little while and had a nap before giving up waiting, we headed to Morrisons to pick up some essentials and then went to check into the place we were staying and chilled there for the rest of the day.

On Saturday we got up early and headed to a little place in devon called 'Becky Falls" oh the irony! I think it turned into one of our favourite places on the trip. we hiked all the way around the wooded area and then the adventurous side of us took over and we hiked up the rocks on the falls right to the top! it was great fun and not necessarily something I would normally do!

 From 'Becky falls' we headed over to Clovelly, Clovelly is this little town/ village set into a hillside with cobblestone pavements it is a beautiful little place especially with the sun shining down how it was! however, with the hill it was on was so steep I felt like I needed new lungs by the time we walked back up to the car!

 A bit further up from the beach there was a waterfall, a kind of pirates cove that the water ran down in front of, it was pretty spectacular and the cool water was a welcome relief from the heat

when we were finished there we headed back to the apartment for some dinner and an early night after a full day of exploring we were exhausted!

The next day we had a bit of a lay in before heading down to Dartmoor
~you know the film "we bought a zoo?" featuring Matt Damon? yeh?~
well, that's where we were heading. Dartmoor zoological park, there wasn't much there but then you weren't really paying much to get in!

After we had finished at the zoo we called back into Plymouth to break up the drive back to where we were staying. we had a wonder around and walked over to the lighthouse where they had a classic and modern car show which I let George loose to enjoy at his own pace! it got too hot at that point and we ended up going to paddle our feet in the sea  it was a lovely day, though!

We headed home then to get changed before heading to the pub for dinner. 

If you are down in Devon I highly recommend 'The Thatched Inn' for a bite to eat. friendly staff and tasty food 

http://www.thethatchedinn.com 

 From then we headed to Hartland Quay to watch the sunset, it's one of the most beautiful places in Devon especially with the weather how it was and it was definitely very romantic thing to do! 

  

On our last day there we headed up to Lynton and Lynmouth to spend a little time there before making the long drive home. 

All in all, it was a perfect weekend and we learned that we could spend time together without any arguments (unless you count who's paying?) and without judgement. 

I am so lucky to have found someone like him 

where are some places you find beautiful and awe-inspiring in the country you live? 

All my love, 

B xxx

Post Canada: The Up and The Downs and Everything In-Between

Hey there! 

So, I know that this post has been long awaited but as always life got in the way and I ended up doing other things, as opposed to writing this post. Here I am now sitting down laptop keyboard at the ready, writing. 

As I am writing this it is exactly 3 weeks and 5 days since I landed back in London from Canada, and honestly it was one of the best trips I have ever been on. 

My chance to get away from everything, to relax and destress, and above all else, visit some amazing people. 

So, let's start with the flights! in total, I was up in the air for approximately 11 hours. It was definitely a very long flight, but well worth it. 

I was definitely feeling some anxiety towards it, leaving my parents at the airport, and the impending layover in Vancouver, but all of that anxiety was overshadowed by the thought of going to one of my favourite places in the world. 

I am used to the safety net of my parents, especially when travelling, with my mum sat next to me, my dad paying for everything and mum looking after all the important documents. 

This time, it was all down to me. I had to look after my own passport and tickets. Make sure I made it to the gate on time without delay, and to board my flight when called. That full 9 hours' was definitely not fun having no one to talk to, however on my second flight which was kind of a bit scary, there was a kind guy about my age that could maybe sense my apprehension, because he kept the conversation going, talking about England, why he was back in Canada and telling me about the area I was going to! I wish I knew his name, we were so caught up in getting off the plane and finding our families that we never said goodbye and I didn't get to thank him!

My first week there was a very quiet one. I was getting over my JetLag, Relaxing and also just having fun with someone of the kids. We took one of the girls to swimming every morning and then to the bakery to get a doughnut or a cookie, whatever sweet treat we fancied that day :). 

By Saturday I was over my JetLag we woke up relatively early and went up to the Kelowna craft and farmers market, It has been raining most of the morning so most vendors had given up and surrendered to the elements  but there were still a few people there, it was nice to just browse the stalls before moving on to our final destination! the little town of Merrit. 

We were there visiting some more cousins, picking up a few bits and heading home. 

That night we had planned to go to the drive in, but as we got there the 'Sold Out' signs appeared, so instead we ended up at the good old Tim Hortons "drowning our sorrows" in hot chocolate and doughnuts... Yes, I seem to have eaten a lot of Doughnuts this holiday haha!  

On Sunday we slept in a bit before we got in the car and drove up to Revelstoke, to do this new attraction called the pipe! The Pipe is this mountain coaster that you have to get in a gondola to reach the top, then  you come back to the bottom. the whole ride takes about 6 minutes, it's terrifying and fun but worth giving it a try, putting those nerves aside and taking that leap of faith, you should always try and do something new and scary because 90% of the time, its worth it. 

Despite all the fun I had hanging out with family, playing with puppies and just getting away from life in general, it was soon back to reality. I could write so much more, but I have already waffled on so much. 

The final thing I will say is that saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I feel I have ever had to do, even now thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. 

Going on this trip was the best thing I could have done, I learnt my limits, I learnt who I am and most of all, I learnt that my Anxiety doesn't hold me back anymore. Yes, it will always be a part of me but My life is an open road and I can handle anything.

All My Love, 

B xxx

An Adventure of a Lifetime

Things happen, we can't change that. 

For a long while now i've just wanted to escape, for me, my escape is Canada, its family, its being off the grid for a while.

This weekend, with the help of my lovely cousins, I decided that I was going to do something that scares me. 

Yes I have anxiety, so doing this literally terrifies me, it puts me out of my comfort zone. But its what I want to do. 

This July I am going to be planning a trip to Canada to stay with my family there. On my own. 

An 11 hour flight with a change, something I have never done before, and it will just be me. 

I am looking forward to it, I am in a place financially where I can afford to go and I am in a position where I can stay with family so I won't be alone for long. 

It will be a great opportunity for me and I plan to document the entire thing for you guys cause its my first trip I've ever done alone and I can't wait to embark on the planning and travelling. I also want to be able to document how I am feeling how my anxiety is holding up and the adventures I will get up to! 

Love Always, 

B xxx

A Letter To A Friend

Hey Guys, 

Ever since I was little I would always get excited when there was any form of mail waiting for me on the door mat when I woke up, even if it was something extremely boring, even now I get excited probably every time i hear the letterbox go because there might be something waiting for me to open and read. 

So, back in September when Raiona (mentioned in previous blog posts and owner of raionahope.uk) and I went off our separate ways to university, We decided we would keep in touch by any means possible. We know that we are both adults and may not always have time to see each other as much as we used to or have time to write long winded texts updating each other on what was going on with us.

We chose a method that some teenagers would find rather out dated, we decided to write letters, its not that hard to do, just need some paper, a pen and something to write about, its not to dissimilar from writing a blog post really, except there are more personal things written in a letter than on a website. 

There is something so much more intimate about writing things down in letters, they are something that you can keep forever, where as a text will just get deleted after a while. 

Raiona and I are both keen writers, as shown by our blogs. However we both found knowing what to write in letters to each other hard at first. Its all about getting the right balance of talking about yourself and asking questions the other can answer in their response. 

I get excited every time i see a hand written letter waiting for me  from Rai and I honestly save each one so I can read them back in the future. I love this little tradition we have started in our friendship and I hope it lasts a very long time. 

Do you have anyone you like to write to? 

What are your thoughts on hand written letters? 

Please feel free to answer these questions in the comments below! 

Love Always, 

B xxx