"You Do You, You Be You"

Hey Guys, 

So, I guess I did my usual thing of disappearing from the internet, well at least this little part of it! But here I am at 1AM writing a little reflective post for you all. 

I have seen so many memes going around facebook about how terrible 2016 has been for a lot of people and so many people agreeing with them and saying how they can't wait for 2017 to start. However from my opinion 2016 has been just like every other. There have been ups and downs, sure, but its what you make of those ups and downs and what comes out of that, that makes your year better. 

I'm not saying I'm any better off than anyone else, yes I am part of a country that voted to leave the EU, did I agree with it? No. But as a country, we have made our bed and now we have to sleep in it. there could be a whole other post about the politics of it all but I feel that would just start an argument so I am just going to leave it at that, What I am trying to, and undoubtedly failing to say is you just have to face what comes at you. and look to it with positivity. 

The year started out terribly with a few failed attempts at feeble relationships and Barely passing through the first year of uni, but then I turned over a new leaf, I met my amazingly supportive boyfriend,  I decided my degree was the most important thing to me and that 90% of my time and energy would be focussed on bettering myself and learning from the previous years mistakes (of course I keep 9.5% of my time for my boyfriend and 0.5% for work need to earn a bit of money after all). 

I conquered my anxieties and flew 4723 miles to Canada on my own (I realise I could have chosen somewhere closer to home but it was what I felt most comfortable with, knowing there was someone waiting for me the other end, a place to stay, people I knew and could talk to) It definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone. those of you who know me, know I am not the most talkative or outgoing person, I'm the girl that would rather hide at the back of the class so that the teacher wouldn't pick on me, Doing this forced me to talk to people, it pushed me to my limits and I came out better for it. 

I even got a tattoo as a little reminder to myself that I can do anything, I don't need to let my mental health hold me back. Yes, I still have bad days where I'd rather not move from the comfort and reassurance of my bed, feeling sick to my stomach with nerves, but that's all par of the cause, I will have those days but I get up and get on with it because I know I'm strong enough that I can conquer anything. 

Now I'm a third of the way through my second year, struggling but doing ok, keeping my head above water and staying up to date. I've just celebrated 6 months with my boyfriend and I feel like I am finally in a positive place, in the right place, and that's where I belong. 

I know this one was a deep one, but I can't wait to see what the next year brings. 

what's your experience with 2016 so far? 

Love,

B

xxx

Post Canada: The Up and The Downs and Everything In-Between

Hey there! 

So, I know that this post has been long awaited but as always life got in the way and I ended up doing other things, as opposed to writing this post. Here I am now sitting down laptop keyboard at the ready, writing. 

As I am writing this it is exactly 3 weeks and 5 days since I landed back in London from Canada, and honestly it was one of the best trips I have ever been on. 

My chance to get away from everything, to relax and destress, and above all else, visit some amazing people. 

So, let's start with the flights! in total, I was up in the air for approximately 11 hours. It was definitely a very long flight, but well worth it. 

I was definitely feeling some anxiety towards it, leaving my parents at the airport, and the impending layover in Vancouver, but all of that anxiety was overshadowed by the thought of going to one of my favourite places in the world. 

I am used to the safety net of my parents, especially when travelling, with my mum sat next to me, my dad paying for everything and mum looking after all the important documents. 

This time, it was all down to me. I had to look after my own passport and tickets. Make sure I made it to the gate on time without delay, and to board my flight when called. That full 9 hours' was definitely not fun having no one to talk to, however on my second flight which was kind of a bit scary, there was a kind guy about my age that could maybe sense my apprehension, because he kept the conversation going, talking about England, why he was back in Canada and telling me about the area I was going to! I wish I knew his name, we were so caught up in getting off the plane and finding our families that we never said goodbye and I didn't get to thank him!

My first week there was a very quiet one. I was getting over my JetLag, Relaxing and also just having fun with someone of the kids. We took one of the girls to swimming every morning and then to the bakery to get a doughnut or a cookie, whatever sweet treat we fancied that day :). 

By Saturday I was over my JetLag we woke up relatively early and went up to the Kelowna craft and farmers market, It has been raining most of the morning so most vendors had given up and surrendered to the elements  but there were still a few people there, it was nice to just browse the stalls before moving on to our final destination! the little town of Merrit. 

We were there visiting some more cousins, picking up a few bits and heading home. 

That night we had planned to go to the drive in, but as we got there the 'Sold Out' signs appeared, so instead we ended up at the good old Tim Hortons "drowning our sorrows" in hot chocolate and doughnuts... Yes, I seem to have eaten a lot of Doughnuts this holiday haha!  

On Sunday we slept in a bit before we got in the car and drove up to Revelstoke, to do this new attraction called the pipe! The Pipe is this mountain coaster that you have to get in a gondola to reach the top, then  you come back to the bottom. the whole ride takes about 6 minutes, it's terrifying and fun but worth giving it a try, putting those nerves aside and taking that leap of faith, you should always try and do something new and scary because 90% of the time, its worth it. 

Despite all the fun I had hanging out with family, playing with puppies and just getting away from life in general, it was soon back to reality. I could write so much more, but I have already waffled on so much. 

The final thing I will say is that saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I feel I have ever had to do, even now thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. 

Going on this trip was the best thing I could have done, I learnt my limits, I learnt who I am and most of all, I learnt that my Anxiety doesn't hold me back anymore. Yes, it will always be a part of me but My life is an open road and I can handle anything.

All My Love, 

B xxx

A Few Days to Go...

Hey Guys, 

Wow! Time really does fly huh? 

I cannot believe it was nearly 5 months ago, I posted my first blog post about going to Canada, and as I am writing this, it is literally 2 days till I go!

So, I thought I would write a little post about how I am feeling with it being so close to going, and the things I am looking forward to most! 

It seems so surreal that in just 48 hours I will be in Canada, a place that in a strange way has always kind of felt like home. 

On Monday (4th July) it will be 3 years since we last went! That's Crazy! 

The older I get, the more I am wondering where the heck these days are going! So, with that, I am realising I need to make the most of every day, to live without regrets and also most importantly, Be Happy! 

I am mostly looking forward to experiencing this adventure, without the rest of my family, it will be a new experience for me and will also test my boundaries in ways they have never been pushed before! 

An 11-hour flight, with a layover that I have never done before, is definitely a daunting prospect, but it also one that I am looking forward to and I am ready to face it head on. 

3 years ago I would have never been able to do anything like this, so I am proud to say I am going to do it! 

So, I say, do something that scares you!  If you don't, you will regret it

and take every opportunity you can. 

Until Next Time! 

Love, 

B xxxxx

Three Days In Dublin

Hey Guys, 

I Know, I know it's been awhile but I'm back! and I trust that you have all been well and stayed safe in my absence? 

In this post, I want to share my experiences of going to Dublin for a week with my parents and the exciting things I got up to while I was there. 

Now I live in the East of England and while I was away, it had apparently been terrible weather and no one quite believed that it was lovely and hot in Dublin, so hot that I got sunburned! YES, I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE CAREFUL! but when you are having this much fun and your mother forgets the sun lotion you just have to live with it! 

The first day we got there I didn't really take any picture other than on my phone with got uploaded to my Instagram (linked). We just ended up exploring the area around the river Liffey  and getting some dinner in this little American diner style restaurant called "Eddie Rockets" we all agreed it was probably one of the best American meals we have had for a while!

On the second day, we did a Hop On Hop Off Bus tour of Dublin, showing us all the sights and telling us the history of the different areas of the city. Seeing Trinity College, The house where Oscar Wilde was born and the church he was christened, we stayed on the bus all the way around and then walked back to find the places we wanted to visit like the Oscar Wilde relaxing on a rock statue, the statue of Molly Malone and the natural history museum that is known by locals as the "dead zoo"

"The Museum houses one of the world's finest and fullest collections still to be seen today. Two million species, of which roughly half are insects, live side by side with, appropriately for a natural history museum, decorated and sculptured panels depicting mythological figures."

- http://www.visitdublin.com/see-do/details/national-museum-of-ireland-natural-history/31265/#53.339844|-6.253360|16

We then headed up to the Guinness Factory which we hadn't realised was quite a walk from where we were!
Whilst we were there I had my first taste of the drink. and honestly, it has probably ruined all other experiences trying it back here in England because I have heard from so many people how different it tastes! It was a great experience all in all!

That evening we went over to this kind of canal area near by the river, it seemed to be the favourite hangout for the local business men and women, taking a pack of beer and just hanging out till the sun sets. it was peaceful and beautiful and nothing like we could ever do in England without there being a problem

On the third and final day in Dublin, we had breakfast at the hotel and walked over to the Jameson factory in order to catch the Hop On Hop Off bus tour to do the other part of the city. After an hour and a half wait, we decided it was time to get coffee because we weren't getting the bus anytime soon, that was for sure!
We then walked over to the temple bar district and did a bit of shopping before heading back to the hotel to collect our bags and leave for the airport!

All in all, it was an amazing few days spent with my parents, quality time we wouldn't normally get at home. I would love to go back and explore the city some more, just walking around without a map and getting lost. I feel like that is the best way to explore a place you have never visited before.

Without Further ado I will leave you with some pictures from my trip.
Thank You So Much For Reading This Post!
What do you think is the best way to explore somewhere new?
Love,
B xxx

Birth Place Of Oscar Wilde

            

Oscar Wilde Statue

         

Oscar Wilde Quotes

In the 'Dead Zoo'

                                        

Molly Malone

Guinness

 

Temple Bar Mural 

H'apenny Bridge

The End Is Near

Hi Guys! 

So, By the title of this post you probably think this is going to be a very dramatic piece but honestly that isn't my intention. 

I know i haven't written a post in a while but as always life gets in the way and things had to go on the back burner, this blog was one of those things! 

I know, I know I'm sorry that it keeps happening but as a good friend once told me, " My blog isn't going anywhere, Take time to get the important stuff done"

I have titled this post The End is Near because as I write this I have 14 days till my hand in for my university course, 14 days of stress and consuming a lot of coffee. Thats 14 days till I have finished my first year at Norwich University of the Arts. 

And honestly I wouldn't change any of it for the world. 

I have met amazing people, that have been so supportive and helpful, and I don't think i could have got through it all without them.

Looking back it is crazy and scary how quickly the last 6 months have gone and it is also scary how it is all nearly over. 

It all comes down to these last 14 days 

The last 6 months have been a whirlwind of friendship, stress, relationships and happy moments, it really has been the best experience of my life and i can't wait to embark on the next 2 years of my life at this University!

Thank You so much for taking the time to Read my post,

Love, 

Becca xxx

An Adventure of a Lifetime

Things happen, we can't change that. 

For a long while now i've just wanted to escape, for me, my escape is Canada, its family, its being off the grid for a while.

This weekend, with the help of my lovely cousins, I decided that I was going to do something that scares me. 

Yes I have anxiety, so doing this literally terrifies me, it puts me out of my comfort zone. But its what I want to do. 

This July I am going to be planning a trip to Canada to stay with my family there. On my own. 

An 11 hour flight with a change, something I have never done before, and it will just be me. 

I am looking forward to it, I am in a place financially where I can afford to go and I am in a position where I can stay with family so I won't be alone for long. 

It will be a great opportunity for me and I plan to document the entire thing for you guys cause its my first trip I've ever done alone and I can't wait to embark on the planning and travelling. I also want to be able to document how I am feeling how my anxiety is holding up and the adventures I will get up to! 

Love Always, 

B xxx

Yesterdays World

Old things  have always interested me.

I look through all the things I have collected of my 18 years and all I see is happy memories. 

On one of my parents clear outs of things that they didn't want any more, I found this:

This is a old insert from a Canadian Broadsheet news paper called The Globe and Mail printed in September 1988. 

the main basis of this insert is about film reviews theres for Dead Ringer, and there are articles about Sigourney Weaver, and also tells you all the films that were playing in the cinemas at the time, ( I think this was back when they couldn't go online to read it) 

My mum kept this from her first trip with my dad to Canada as a kind of memento from their trip, 

and here she was about to throw it away but it interested me. I liked how old it looked, and I was also interested to read it (I think the only part I've actually read all of is the comics) 

It was put in a draw and forgotten about until last night. I was going through my draws trying to find something and i found it, tucked away with some photo albums. 

I'll confess I have been struggling to find something to write about on here for a little while, which is why I've skipped a few weeks here and there. So, when I found this old paper I instantly thought this is what I want to write about.

Many of you know I have a connection with Canada that makes me want to be there all the time. I will be going about my day/ week/ year normally but there is always a part of me that wishes I was there. 

The sense of place and belonging I had when I last went there was phenomenal something I had never felt before, although thats probably because in just a few short days I knew we would be with family, family we hadn't seen in a long while. 

This Newspaper is definitely showing its age but thats just what old things do,

they age with time, but that just makes them more precious and worth hanging on to. 

Do you have anywhere that you feel you have a sense of place in? 

let me know in the comments I would be interested to hear your thoughts! 

Love, 

B xxxxx 

University Part 2

Hey guys! 

So, after I posted university part 1 I fully intended to post a part 2 a week later. 

However I got swept up with university life and found it hard to keep on with my blog and getting my assignments done! 

What can I say, 7 Weeks later  and my fears and anxieties are gone. With commuting to Norwich I found it quite hard having got be up at 6:00 every morning just to be in for lectures starting at 9:00 it was physically draining especially with my recent increase in hours at work. i was getting to the point where something was going to have to give. 

I can say now that after the first week i was only having to be in for 9:00 twice a week which made it so much more bearable! and being in work for 7:30 on a Saturday became easier and easier, it is really all about adapting your sleep patterns and your body getting accustomed to the early starts ( it helped that I do drink a lot of coffee!!!!)

I have made so many new friends, that my mum calls "my own kind" which i find quite funny, I am really enjoying my course and I am learning a lot! 

However when we go into workshops we get given a number and told to go stand with the other people that have that number, this is quite a downside when you get split up from the friends you've made an effort to make! 

Despite this it hasn't put me off going into uni, the lecturers and really good and passionate about the subject but they are also willing to help if you need it. I was really struggling at first, I didn't know how to use my camera in manual mode and I also didn't have a clue about the lighting equipment, this was only because the equipment at my old school was very minimal and we barely got to use it. I was like a fish out of water. It was good to make friends that were in the same position as me. 

By far, the best part about my University if our Friday morning lectures, yes it is an early morning one, however each week is a different guest lecturer, some are students that have graduated in previous years and others and fully fledged photographers that have had a long career! It makes me excited to continue with the course and get somewhere. 

The people on my course are all so lovely, we all get along with everyone which makes it so much easier when we get split up into groups. Like today for example, none of my friends were in my workshop because of other things going on and we got split into groups for our lighting workshop (Disclaimer: I had worked with the people in my group before) and the rest of my group helped to put the equipment up ( something I'm still getting my head around) and we just had fun with what we were doing, I haven't laughed that much in  a long while. 

For anyone that is worried about starting university in September ( I know its less that a year away but still!) I would say don't be, it is one of the best experiences you could have, everyone else is in the same position as you, and there is always help available if you need it. I have always been quite a shy reserved person but I found just going up to people on your course and saying "Hi" is one of the best things you can do! 

And just remember, Be you, there is no one else better. 

Love, 

Becca xx

P.s. If you want to read my photography blog i have put together for my course the link is:

rebeccaedwardsphotography.blogspot.co.uk

University Part 1

Hey Guys, 

There are so many stigmas attached to University. We all have expectations of what University is like built up through movies and TV shows.

There are also so many emotions that go along with starting at University. Personally I'm feeling scared and Anxious. It's a new step in my life, from past experiences new situations and I don't get on well together. Despite this I am excited. I'm going to a city that I love, Doing a course that I want to do. A course in the subject I love. Progressing further into my future doing something that is ultimately what I want to do. I'm going to a new place with new people that don't know my history, they don't know who I was two years ago to who I am now.

Right now I am the best version of me that I have been for a long while. I am in control of my anxieties, I am in control of me.

The thing I am most looking forward to is being able to express who I am without rules and regulations. I can discover who I am as a person, I can come out of my shell and be more of an extrovert rather than an introvert. Yet I feel this is easier said than done.
Everyone is in the same boat we are expected to be on edge and a shadow of ourselves.

University is a new and exciting experience and I can't wait to get stuck into the thick of it!


love,
Becca



Disclaimer : this post is posted 2 weeks after starting university! sorry for the delay xxx