Update time! Anxiety and Other Stuff

Hey Guys,

Wow its been a while since I've sat at my computer and written to you.

what can I say,  this post is personal to me and I figured I should just get it out and tell you guys.

some of you who know me, know that for the last year or so I have been struggling with Anxiety, this is a very personal issue that took me a long time to admit to my friends and even family that I was struggling, but when I eventually did tell the people that mattered, I was able to get the help that I so desperately needed, and I am in a better place because of it.

This is why I'm writing this post, because I finally feel strong enough to tell people, or even help others if they need it!

Over the last couple of months I have been to see a councillor to get help and ways to cope with it because for me new situations and the feeling of  'I can't escape' were the main causes of my attacks.  Which is something I had never experienced before going to sixth form and It definitely scared me, I didn't tell anyone though... this was probably my biggest mistake.

Now, new situations is something that I cant escape because being 17 you come up against a lot of them! For example I am in my second year at sixth form so I have just finished applying to University, this is a big exciting and scary change that I decided I wasn't going to hide from, I want to follow my dream and the only way to do that is to face my biggest fear.

Now, because of the course I want to do, I have to interview at the Universities so that they can get an idea of what I'm like as a person as well as having a look at my portfolio.

The thought of going to a place that I could be studying and they then not like my work or me terrified me, even now it still does....

But the biggest thing I learned throughout all of this is that I can't control what will happen in the future, I just have to think about the here and the now, this for me is getting my Anxiety under control and taking each day as it comes.

I know there aren't many of you that read my small little blog, but for those that do I want to say thank you and if this helps just one of you understand what its like then I'm happy

This is my story

What's Yours?

if you want to talk to me about anything I have mentioned in this post, do not hesitate to get in contact I am happy to help anyone!!

Love,

Becca xxx

P.S. I am going to try and post more, life has been so stressful recently I haven't had chance to just sit down and write

  

a little short monologue...

Hey Guys,

So today this is going to be a slightly different blog post... I wrote a short monologue for my English coursework and I was quite proud of it, so I just wanted to share it quickly, let me know what you think :)

 

I am a woman in her early 20's. My name is Aria. Aria Fitzgerald. I am of medium height, but quite slim for my age! I have long curly blonde hair, and I suffer with anxiety. Brighton, where I live, is a quaint little town, weekends and holidays are my worst nightmare! The sun comes out and people flock from all over to this little town by the sea. This makes my anxiety worse, I feel like I can't go out the house, even the slightest thing makes me anxious, I feel I can't cope.

 

I live with my best friend Ramona, and my boyfriend Nate they help me a lot with everything, they are my rocks. if I have a panic attack they are always there to calm me down, or remove me from the situation that makes me anxious.

 

the year my parents died in a car crash was the worst of my life for my anxiety, for the six months after I went into a state of shock where every little thing that happened sent me into  panic attack. I was so frightened to leave the house, I was afraid that if anything good happened to me, it would be taken away as soon as it was given. I began to push people away, first Ramona, no matter how hard she tried, I became withdrawn from everything. and her. I then pushed Nate away I was frightened that if he stayed with me, something bad would happen, he stayed though. for those six months he stuck by my side, and slept on the sofa, which I imagine couldn't have been comfortable.

 

By Christmas I slowly but surely began to become less withdrawn, I was like a polar bear coming out of hibernation. But sure enough Nate and Ramona were there to help me through, to get me reintegrated within the human way of life. it started by taking little walks just down to the sea front, which I found to be a great source of comfort during the last six months, there was something about the sea that calmed me, the peaceful serenity of the waves flowing in and out, against the sea shore. I then got more confident, and started making trips on the train up to London for various outing or meetings. This is when life really started to get back to normality I started going out with my friends, partying, having fun. Doing this still made me anxious at times but I learnt to control it, I had to remove myself from any situation that made me anxious, even if it meant going outside to get some air.

 

now one year on, I  am living proof that it does get better, no matter what dark moments you are experiencing in your life at the moment, you always have to remember things get better. I a now living in a little seaside cottage with the love of my life, Nate. we are engaged and I am so happy he stuck with me through my dark state of mind and didn't give up on me.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this,

(it is in no way written from personal experience, I just wrote what came into my head)

Love, Becca

Life little update

Hey Guys!

So I haven't blogged in a while, and trust me there is a good reason! Life just got in the way, I've had a tone of exams to revise for and even finding time to go to work has been hard but I've managed! 

So what's been going on behind the scenes?

Well a couple of weeks ago me and a friend were lucky enough to go to the Birmingham LG arena to see McBusted it was so good! probably the best concert I've ever been to (although I don't have a lot of concerts to compare them to!) I was young when Busted broke up and I used to listen to the only album it had on repeat do it was a dream made reality to go see an ultimate super group LIVE! It was definitely the best break between exams, which I have finally finished yesterday!!!!! Now I am free to live my life without having to worry about college, which I spend mostly on social media or sleeping (I know living life to the full!!!) 

That's about all from me, I shall leave you with some pictures from McBusted! 

Updates to come soon! 

Rebecca x

Just A Quick Life Update!

 

Hey Guys!

Once again I'm back! and by Jove I have got some more to tell you guys (sorry for the old reference there!)

So Valentines is only a few days away and I myself don't have a date, but not to worry because they have given us the day off school and I'd much rather have a sleep in!

At the moment I'm about to watch Step Up 4 and then get on with my Photography Coursework because deadlines are fast approaching, I handed in my finals yesterday and tomorrow is the day of reckoning where I have to hand in my sketchbook as far as I'm aware from what my teacher has told me I am well on my way to getting a B for it and my finals.

I leave you with one final thing before one of my favourite pictures from the final selection, which is I don't know where I would be right now if I didn't have my friends around, they help me to keep my mind off of things that are still fresh and raw in my mind, maybe one day I'll be able to share them with you but today is not the day for it.

 

well on a lighter note...

Thanks For Reading my little Blog,

Rebecca x

 

 

A Day Shooting Photos

 

 

Hi Guys!

Well where to begin, today has been a hectic day!

so I met up with my friend today, partly for homework and partly just for a general catch up!

when I'm doing my photography work, it doesn't feel like its something I have to be doing, its something I would willingly do for fun and enjoy doing.

Its not a chore if you enjoy doing it!

So I thought I would share some of the unedited pictures I took today as part of one of my A-Level photography shoot.

This was just a quick post from me!
and special thanks to my model Nicola Dunk for putting up with me today :)
thanks for reading,

Love,

Rebecca xx



College

Hi All!

So I am currently sat in my schools sports hall watching people play badminton, and I found myself wandering. What I would be doing if I didn't get the grades to come here! 

To be honest I don't know what I would be doing because I think I'd be lost without the friends I've made! 

I consider myself  very lucky that I am where I am and I'm so greatful to everyone that helped me through and supported me in my descisions. 

To be honest if your like me 16 or younger trying to decide what to do when you leave college, my advice would be to so what you love, and love what you do! Because life's to short to have regrets :) 

That's all from me! 

Rebecca x

It's 2014!

 

Hi All!

Well its the new year and I feel like its time to reflect on last year, I know January is nearly over but I've been so busy I have had time to sit down and write a blog post!

 

So, I feel I should explain myself! well first of all March~ June I was really busy with my final year of High School, and passing my GCSE's that was my main priority, then I was in Canada for a month visiting with family which was the best!

and then came the daunting task of transitioning into a new school without  my best friend, however I can honestly say I have met the nicest people I could ever meet and I am so glad I chose the school I did because without it I don't know where I would be right now!

 

so that brought you up to the present, and I really just wrote this to inform you why I have been gone for so long, but I'm back and I hope to start writing more blog posts and keeping you guys up to date!

I will try to write one every week, but if I forget to its because I'm busy with work or revising for EXAMS!

so I will leave you here with a few pictures from my holiday,

check in soon,

Love,

Becca

(For Various reasons I cannot show pictures of my Canadian family so these will just have to do)